1.)The Haircut Show
-This is a show unlike you’ve ever seen before
Come see it now for there won’t be any European tours
No Sugarush, No Sandra Black
No cover at the door

TUESDAY @ 1pm
See me get my haircut at Larry’s Cuts for Boys & Men
You know me, this time no Flowbee
You know me, for sure
TUESDAY @ 1pm
See me get my haircut at Larry’s Cuts for Boys & Men
Hair cut but no one came
I got my haircut. It’s always the same.
So we drank Colt 45 and stayed up until sunrise
Drank Colt 45 and stayed up until sunrise
Sun
Rise

2.)Loaded Gun
-Ay ay ma, I said, I feel like a loaded gun
Don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone
I’m a ticking time bomb, I know
The way I feel is wrong, it goes

These are dark and dismal days
Spend them hiding in the shade
Where I burn a brighter pale
Tired of being the butt of some dumb joke
Can’t see past these endless streets
A quick talker mingling with thieves
Save the last dance for me
Card cheat, it was you who started a hope.

Ay ay ma, I said, I feel like a loaded gun
Don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone
I’m a ticking time bomb, I know
The way I feel is wrong, it goes
(Mama, he doesn’t care about anyone; he’s a ticking time bomb.)

3.) The Food Petting Zoo
-Never saw you at the show. Couldn’t see you through the crowd of one. But, here’s your chance. I promise you, you’ll have so much fun. Created this just for you…
A food petting zoo
I promise you, it’s just for you

Have you ever wondered what macaroni felt like in its natural habitat?
Come see broccoli spears, 3 Musketeers, & soda bread.
This hands on experience is just that:
NOT TO BE MISSED, NOT TO BE OUTDONE!
The food petting zoo is so much fun!

...but no one came
it’s always the same

4.) The Kissing Party
"Part I: the Plan"
-30 invitations sent for our kissing party.
Will she come? Will he come?
Will we get things started?
Got the mixers chilled on ice
to warm up the broken hearted
Will she come? Will he come?
Can we get things started?

This Friday night at 8pm.
Repondez s’il-vous plait, and bring a friend.
Come showered & dressed to the nines
Bring your A game, you funny Valentine

30 Invitations sent for our Kissing Party
She didn’t come. He didn’t come
& now we’re broken hearted
No one ever came
for all of the parties we had made.
No one comes
Nobody ever does.

"Part II: I Invited Kim Deal to A Kissing Party"
…but I know something that you don’t know
I saw the Breeders at the Mr. T’s show
straight to the bar & I took my chance
through a sea of bikers, I swam to Tammy Ampersand

I invited Kim Deal to a kissing party
and she kissed my girlfriend
she always does...
she always does…

5.) The GIg is Up
-When I was young, so much younger then
I would sing for all of my so-called friends
and they’d say,
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! The gig is up!”

Now, I am old but not much older than
I still sing for all of my so called friends
and they say,
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

The gig is up.